Sandcastle competition, 4th of August



  • ☑️ Beach towels
  • ☑️ Sunglasses
  • ☑️ Slippers
  • ☑️ Water shoes
  • ☑️ Trunks
  • ☑️ Spare trunks
  • ☑️ Extra sunscreen
  • ☑️ Sunscreen Extra™
  • ☑️ Food and Drinks
  • ☑️ Buckets
  • ☑️ Shovels
  • ☑️ Juniors beach hat
  • ☑️ Juniors stuff (see list above)
  • ☑️ Junior


  • Sun: hot, exceeding expectations
  • Water: wet, earlier hypothesis proved
  • Headache: absent (for now)
  • Sunscreen: applied, thickly
  • Mentality: stable, ready for fun!

Everything is going according to my predictions. Junior had us stop at the side of the road for 'a weewee'. Currently writing this in the car, partially out of boredom, mainly because of research. I will give further updates.

– Shelly has put on her playlist. I wonder if I would need my hearing for me to do my job at the lab. –

We have been in the car for two hours now and I have decided that I do in fact not need my ears for work. I do withhold, because of outside complications. Music would be incredibly boring.

We have arrived at the beach. Weather is clear and warm, people are loud and very present. I am here to sign up for the annual sandcastle building competition. Curious to see what the other contestants will be like.

Contestants: Me, Randy: kind and diligent. Looks like a genius. Looks don’t deceive. Billy: Young child of large stature. Strength: too much, don't pick a fight. Possibility of him making a stable castle: 1.2% Andrew Goodwool: Smart, but bad at conversation. Winning possibility: relatively high. Code name ‘Freaky’: an artist, somebody to look out for. About five others, not noteworthy.

The contestants

Every contestant is allowed to have one (1) worker to carry buckets of sand and water. I have chosen Sven because he is large, strong and fast. One step closer to winning.

I worked on designs on the trip here. It is blocky and simple and very steady. Perfect to live in and still show status and wealth. —

I have looked around, and it seems the others are going for more intricate looks. They will score points in the artistic part, but stability and structure will need work. If a gust of wind were to pass, there would be K.O.!

The contest has now finished. I did not win. The goal of this experiment was to make the best sandcastle possible. But the criteria were changed which rendered this experiment null and void.

I will report what happened:

Sven ran with buckets of sand and water. I built the castle. It was symmetrical, with the unavoidable bump here and there. It was perfect, exactly as it should be.

The clock was ticking, we did not have much time left. I heard the jury giving feedback on other people’s pieces. Billy made something that just looked like a pile of sand, with an ice cream cone stuck on the top of it. Freaky’s work was done quickly and looked skillful, dynamic and overly creative. Andrew had no chance of winning, he made a cylinder. Great at first, but it was all wonky, like a leaning tower.

The jury were focused on frivolous details and pretty-ness. What is this? A castle building contest or a sandy-arty-farty-tea-party? Their taste was, simply put, not on my level! I am not an artist, and I did not come here to make art. I’m an architect, an engineer, and I showed that in my work.

The results

Conclusion: to showcase your genius, don't go to a beach full of sand-hugging hippies!


  • Feelings: disappointed, indifferent
  • Feet: wet and wrinkly, covered in sand
  • Tummy: full from the sandwiches that we had brought
  • Mood: alright, at least we had sandwiches

Shelly taking a selfie of the whole herd

Written by: Riley van Westen
Illustrations by: Friky
Copyright: © 2024 Regular Labs